Self-Care – why it’s so important

I read an interesting article this morning and I thought I would pick out the interesting bits to share with you. The original article was aimed at therapists who work with clients who have experienced significant trauma. It was extolling the virtues of self-care for the therapists. I can see how the explanation could be relevant for so many people, so this is my take. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

We know that self-care is talked about a lot, we are encouraged to look after ourselves, take time out, and have some ‘me time’. It feels indulgent, maybe even a waste of money, however, what follows may change your mind.

In order for me to function at a high level for my family and work, I need a support package, a support framework in order to operate at those high standards, this translates as my ‘me time’.

It is no accident that many of the self care experiences we enjoy most, are things that link us to childhood experiences of nurturing – such as hugs, massage and being read to (and in my case chatting to a trusted person).

So we have to take action, we can’t ‘think’ ourselves into better self care, it’s about taking action. These actions support the healthy function of the lower parts of the brain. A lot of self care does not involve words it is something we ‘experience’ and these experiences are usually body based and help us to feel safe and well and support our brains and body experience regulation. (control, management)

If our brain and body feel regulated, we feel calm and vice versa. Being able to stay calm through the use of regular self-care enables us to think more clearly and deal with all that life throws at us and in my case deal with the people I encounter in my business and life.

A one off experience is not going to cut it, in order to build strong habits of self care and therefore a stronger brain (with strong neural connections) we need repetition (this is the same for all activities). A one off class or treatment is lovely, however, it won’t make a significant difference to our wellbeing, we need lots of practice!

Someone else may recommend a course of action, a type of therapy, a class. You are unique and have unique needs for your self care blend or package. My ‘package’ consists of a monthly massage, a monthly reiki session, twice a week fitness class, regular meet ups with like minded business owners, regular bubble baths, regular craft workshops, yoga sessions and hugging my children. Yours may well be zumba, reading, shopping and meditation!

I feel a seasonal snowflake analogy coming up! Like snowflakes we are unique, vary in size but are all beautiful. So do yourself the best favour ever, you owe your body, brain and ability to feel calm to your self-care.

Self-care enables me to do the job I love and take care of the family I love. It doesn’t bear thinking about where we would be without it.

Take care
Juliet x

Are you a prospective or current adoptive parent, foster carer or friends & family?
Join us for a fabulous Self-Care Evening just outside York with treatments, workshops and gorgeous products on 16 May 2018
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Let Love be Your Energy

As the year is winding down, it has put me in reflective mood.

I caught the end of Radio 2’s ‘Pause for Thought’ this morning, I missed most of it, however, the contributor was summing up and said the words, “Let Love be Your Energy” and it struck me, this is what moves me forward. I have found untold strength and energy from the love of my adopted children, battled negativity from every turn – with the thought – I don’t care what you think of me – when it comes to my business, I just want people to take care of themselves, and for my family, I just want you to understand and consider how you treat people.

It feels like my business is always evolving, I change what I offer and sometimes who I work with. However, the common thread through everything I do is ‘support’. Working one to one with counselling clients, offering business support to therapeutic business owners, providing therapy mini-sessions through the Choice Indulgence Evening and running DIY Pamper Evenings and Parties. I feel like I will always be someone who is motivated and enthused by change and project work (perhaps why running events appeals to me). I will, however, always offer support.

Sometimes I forget about my extensive experience and wonder why I am good at what I do and why I like change. I think a little resume of my career explains this a little!

– Working in pubs and cafes as a student
– University Research
– Factory work
– Debt recovery
– Recruitment
– Customer Services Management
– Teaching ICT, Business Studies and Sociology in 3 different secondary schools plus mentoring new teachers
– Counsellor
– Events management

As well as my voluntary work as a Girl Guides Leader, working as a counsellor for the blind and partially sighted, working on a rape crisis help line, and mentoring ‘looked after’ children.

I’ve done a lot and I have moved around. Being self-employed has been the thing I have stuck at for the longest, mainly because I am in charge of my own destiny. I don’t have to answer to anyone (except the tax man) and if I don’t like what I do, I can change it!

So, let love be your energy, and it be the thing that motivates you.

Juliet x

Tickets: Choice Indulgence Evening, 7 February, 7:00pm – 9:30pm, The KP , Pocklington
Choice Indulgence Evening, 14 March, 7:00pm – 9:30pm, Middlethorpe Hall & Spa, York