Choice Survival Anxiety Package

Chewed Up & Spat Out

The word journey is often used, however, we can’t escape it, life is a journey where we reach crossroads and take different paths. I have often talked about my children, my path to bring them home, adopt them, help them and move them into their teenage years. Now I finally have some time to reflect on what has gone before and consider who I have become as a result of my experiences. There is no doubt I experienced depression, there is no doubt I had secondary trauma and now I consider what I am left with…………


I had the symptoms all along, not wanting to go out, not wanting to meet people, not wanting to visit anywhere new, finding it difficult to talk to people, not going far from home, experiencing a churning stomach, tight chest, nausea when the phone rang, cancelling social invitations and so on. I was experiencing social anxiety, I had been chewed up by my experiences and spat out, left with these anxious feelings.

Finding Support

I found great ways and people to support me, I knew I needed help and found it, through the difficulties I was determined to continue with my life and my business so I had to call on professionals to keep me going. I needed a Survival Package, a list of people I knew would help – counsellors, massage therapists, reiki practitioners, craft workshops, support groups, essential oils, self help books etc etc

How can I help?

I created my own blended approach of therapy; services and activities that supported me. I have always been an advocate of the holistic approach, treating mind and body as one, knowing that ill health in one area affected the other. After my experiences both personally and professionally I offer a blended approach to the therapy I offer.

Counselling – I have 5 years experience of counselling working with adults on loss, change, trauma and anxiety. I have an Advanced Professional Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling from Leeds Trinity University.

Hypnotherapy – I have 5 years experience of hypnotherapy used in conjunction with counselling to aid relaxation, work with phobias and anxiety. Certificate in Hypnotherapy & Counselling skills from Leeds Trinity University.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – There are lots of great techniques available from CBT which I employ from workshops and training courses I have attended.

Relaxation Techniques – I use relaxation as part of the sessions, some people don’t feel comfortable using hypnotherapy so I employ relaxation into the sessions by using relaxation scripts to help you relax at the end of the session and go out and face the world at the end of the sessions.

Essential Oils – I use a diffuser to help aid relaxation in the sessions and can advise on using essential oils at home. I have attended workshops to support this knowledge.

We also build in affirmations, mindfulness and meditation as and when it is needed.

The beauty of this whole approach is that we can tailor it to you, leave out what isn’t needed and add others where they are.

You commit to 6 sessions (we can add to it if needed) and I commit to helping you create your survival package so when the sessions are finished you have something to refer to when needed. Bespoke, tailored to you.

The 6 sessions are £330 which is £55 for each session, available to pay in installments. Great value when you think how much all these elements cost when taken separately.

Get in touch for your FREE 15 minute consultation or forward this blog/email to a friend you think may need some help.

There is help out there



What’s your attachment style? – Children

It is my belief that an understanding of attachment styles would help so many people (not only parents and partners).

Clearly people like social workers, counsellors and some other therapists would find this very useful. However people like: teachers and support staff, people working in human resources, people working at management level and many others would find understanding of attachment beneficial.


Quite simply it gives you a basis to understand how to relate to that person. You will understand so much more about why a person reacts as they do and how they relate to other people.

Perhaps a good place to start would be looking briefly at attachment styles, starting with children.

There are commonly thought to be four main attachment styles that are attributed to children

Secure Attachment

A child that shows secure attachment will have received consistent care giving. A child will trust if a caregiver leaves them, that they will return. They will compose themselves after a brief upset and find something else to do or play until their caregiver returns.

Avoidant Attachment

Parents of children who are avoidant tend to be emotionally unavailable. They disregard their child’s needs and are often rejecting. The child seems independent of the caregiver, physically and emotionally.

Ambivalent Attachment

This is where a child will feel anxiety when separated from their caregiver and does not feel reassured when the caregiver returns. The child has not developed feelings of security from their caregiver. They are difficult to soothe when distressed.

Disorganised Attachment

This attachment style (or lack of it) is the most challenging to deal with. The child is likely to mistrust adults due to issues like abandonment, drug misuse, abuse and so on from caregivers and will find it almost impossible to feel safe.

These can be further broken down (i.e Secure avoidant, secure ambivalent etc) but we will stick to these main categories for now.


My belief is that those who have an attachment style other than secure, will still need whatever is missing to be met. Whether that be from friends, partners, teachers, parents, support staff, the state etc. This can mean if the needs are not met that they may become vulnerable and/or be drawn to other similar people (chaos). It also means that if some attempt is not made to support that person (either through self acknowledgement or other support) that they may continue a cycle of avoidant, ambivalent or disorganised parenting or ways of relating to people.

As many of you know my campaign is about schools and increasing their awareness and understanding of issues around trauma, adoption and looked after children.

Why would a better understanding of attachment help schools?

Schools (and teachers) have a vital role to play in supporting children through their school life. Teaching is a demanding job which requires a great deal of skill. As a teacher you are knowledgeable about your subject, however,  more importantly (I believe) you need to manage your classroom – the children and their behaviour. Understanding behaviour is key.

My understanding is that teacher training does include more about attachment (instead of the cursory 2 hours I received), however, understanding the impact of behaviour on a child’s learning and the possible source of the behaviour AND to have a plan about how to deal with it, should be key to planning. Dishing out detentions, isolation and negative comments in planners does not work in a positive way, in particular for children with ambivalent, avoidant or disorganised attachment styles. Accessing support for children, using positive behaviour strategies, short-term positive goal setting, positive contact with parents/caregivers will aid teachers understanding, promote positivity in the classroom and help everyone feel progress is being made.

Look out for Part 2 of attachment styles (in adults) in my next blog.

Are you interested in coming along to our Parent Support Group in York? It is for all parents who want support with parenting.

Our Next Meeting

Thursday 4th May – 1pm – 2:30pm

Lidgett Grove Methodist Church

£5 (to cover costs) includes refreshments

Juliet x