Self-Care – why it’s so important

I read an interesting article this morning and I thought I would pick out the interesting bits to share with you. The original article was aimed at therapists who work with clients who have experienced significant trauma. It was extolling the virtues of self-care for the therapists. I can see how the explanation could be relevant for so many people, so this is my take. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

We know that self-care is talked about a lot, we are encouraged to look after ourselves, take time out, and have some ‘me time’. It feels indulgent, maybe even a waste of money, however, what follows may change your mind.

In order for me to function at a high level for my family and work, I need a support package, a support framework in order to operate at those high standards, this translates as my ‘me time’.

It is no accident that many of the self care experiences we enjoy most, are things that link us to childhood experiences of nurturing – such as hugs, massage and being read to (and in my case chatting to a trusted person).

So we have to take action, we can’t ‘think’ ourselves into better self care, it’s about taking action. These actions support the healthy function of the lower parts of the brain. A lot of self care does not involve words it is something we ‘experience’ and these experiences are usually body based and help us to feel safe and well and support our brains and body experience regulation. (control, management)

If our brain and body feel regulated, we feel calm and vice versa. Being able to stay calm through the use of regular self-care enables us to think more clearly and deal with all that life throws at us and in my case deal with the people I encounter in my business and life.

A one off experience is not going to cut it, in order to build strong habits of self care and therefore a stronger brain (with strong neural connections) we need repetition (this is the same for all activities). A one off class or treatment is lovely, however, it won’t make a significant difference to our wellbeing, we need lots of practice!

Someone else may recommend a course of action, a type of therapy, a class. You are unique and have unique needs for your self care blend or package. My ‘package’ consists of a monthly massage, a monthly reiki session, twice a week fitness class, regular meet ups with like minded business owners, regular bubble baths, regular craft workshops, yoga sessions and hugging my children. Yours may well be zumba, reading, shopping and meditation!

I feel a seasonal snowflake analogy coming up! Like snowflakes we are unique, vary in size but are all beautiful. So do yourself the best favour ever, you owe your body, brain and ability to feel calm to your self-care.

Self-care enables me to do the job I love and take care of the family I love. It doesn’t bear thinking about where we would be without it.

Take care
Juliet x

Are you a prospective or current adoptive parent, foster carer or friends & family?
Join us for a fabulous Self-Care Evening just outside York with treatments, workshops and gorgeous products on 16 May 2018
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Why connect with other wellbeing businesses?

I’ve thought for a while, that you need to be selective about your networking (whatever form that takes). You could end up charging around the county, trying a ton out, forking out hundreds of pounds for the big referral groups and making slow progress.

You need a goal for the networking, if you are hoping for referrals, choose your group wisely.

Networking is not just about referrals, however, it may be that you want to learn about other businesses and how they operate, it maybe that you want to meet new people and have a social element to networking, it may be that you want to meet like-minded people or collaborate. It maybe that you are after training, workshops or business support (or all of the above!)

What ever your reasons, be clear about them. You may join different groups for different reasons. I go to a variety of groups: one group is very supportive, one group has a good social element and one group where I have much clearer business goals.

So why have I started my own wellbeing group?
There are a few reasons actually: I want to meet other people in the industry, I want to work with them through my own business, I think people working as therapists come at business in a different way to many other business owners and I think this group of business owners is unique in many ways. It can be a useful means of support for those of us who work hard to support others therapeutically.

Would you find the group useful?
Do you answer yes to any of the following?
– I work with clients and would find the group supportive
– My ideal client is someone who works in the wellbeing industry.
– I want to collaborate with wellbeing professionals
– I have client referrals I would like to pass on and receive back
– I want a chance to reflect on my business practice
– I would like signposting for business training
– I want support with moving up and on in my business

At the moment the group is free as it gets established, soon we will charge a small fee to facilitate the group – your first meeting is free, so you get a chance to see if it’s for you.

Register here to secure your place in this unique group.

Juliet

Let Love be Your Energy

As the year is winding down, it has put me in reflective mood.

I caught the end of Radio 2’s ‘Pause for Thought’ this morning, I missed most of it, however, the contributor was summing up and said the words, “Let Love be Your Energy” and it struck me, this is what moves me forward. I have found untold strength and energy from the love of my adopted children, battled negativity from every turn – with the thought – I don’t care what you think of me – when it comes to my business, I just want people to take care of themselves, and for my family, I just want you to understand and consider how you treat people.

It feels like my business is always evolving, I change what I offer and sometimes who I work with. However, the common thread through everything I do is ‘support’. Working one to one with counselling clients, offering business support to therapeutic business owners, providing therapy mini-sessions through the Choice Indulgence Evening and running DIY Pamper Evenings and Parties. I feel like I will always be someone who is motivated and enthused by change and project work (perhaps why running events appeals to me). I will, however, always offer support.

Sometimes I forget about my extensive experience and wonder why I am good at what I do and why I like change. I think a little resume of my career explains this a little!

– Working in pubs and cafes as a student
– University Research
– Factory work
– Debt recovery
– Recruitment
– Customer Services Management
– Teaching ICT, Business Studies and Sociology in 3 different secondary schools plus mentoring new teachers
– Counsellor
– Events management

As well as my voluntary work as a Girl Guides Leader, working as a counsellor for the blind and partially sighted, working on a rape crisis help line, and mentoring ‘looked after’ children.

I’ve done a lot and I have moved around. Being self-employed has been the thing I have stuck at for the longest, mainly because I am in charge of my own destiny. I don’t have to answer to anyone (except the tax man) and if I don’t like what I do, I can change it!

So, let love be your energy, and it be the thing that motivates you.

Juliet x

Tickets: Choice Indulgence Evening, 7 February, 7:00pm – 9:30pm, The KP , Pocklington
Choice Indulgence Evening, 14 March, 7:00pm – 9:30pm, Middlethorpe Hall & Spa, York

The Concept of Belonging

I have been pondering the word ‘belonging’, what it means and how it feels.

I think as a solo business owner, it’s something I think about quite a lot. Where do I belong? Where do I fit in?

I’m not talking about niche or market sector or segment (although I do think about that sometimes!).

I’m talking about where you belong as a person and linked to that, what is my identity? how do I see myself? how do others see me?

I think we all need to feel we belong – we are part of clubs, societies, groups, classes, political affiliation, churches/religion, bands, associations, families and so on.

It is when we are cut adrift and are not sure where we belong, or start to question our belonging that feelings of isolation, loss or transition start to surface. Perhaps this is where new groups and classes evolve from. ‘I don’t fit in to what is available, so I am going to create my own group/class/tribe’.

If we are lonely or alone we are encouraged to join a club or class, everyone is keen for us to belong somewhere.

Meeting people is important, social interaction and where we belong changes as we move through life. I felt a strong sense of belonging when my children were in primary school and when they moved to secondary school I lost that interaction and sense of belonging.

I attend classes and clubs and I wonder “Are these my type of people?” “Do I belong here?” and I keep going, so I guess I do!

I go to Networking groups and have the same questions, but perhaps everyone is thinking the same.

I pondered what do people who are on the edge of society feel, they are marginalised, perhaps not cared about, don’t feel they belong. How do they cope?

It’s quite a heavy concept for a Monday morning (!), however, I wanted to think and reflect on belonging. I moved house a lot as a child and never really knew where I fitted in. Perhaps this is why I can relate to people who feel lost or outside some how.

As a business owner, you can pick and choose where you feel you belong. As a therapist I set up my groups for parents and business owners to attract people with similar goals to me and created my own sense of belonging and I hope they felt they belonged too.

Have a great week.

Juliet

PS. If you want to belong to one of my support groups or masterminding groups get in touch to find out about the next group and when it begins. If you love the concept of Power Brainstorming and want to test out your ideas in a supportive setting – click the link below.

Motivational Interviewing in Business

You may have heard of it, but what is it?

Quite simply, it’s a method that works on facilitating and engaging motivation within an individual in order to change behaviour.

It’s used a lot in medical and counselling settings as the professional has some time to build a relationship with their client or patient. I can see applications elsewhere. It is a technique which is non-confrontational, and non-judgmental.

How could it be used in business?

My thoughts are that if you regularly work with clients or customers you can implement some of the principles. The aim of your dealings and encounters is to bring about ‘change talk’ and make positive changes to improve their life, it is about encouraging people to make their own changes (who really changes things for the better when told or forced to!). Many people are afraid of change and may well weigh up the pros and cons of doing so (if you are lucky).

Today I am going to give you a taster of some of the questions you could ask to get the people you work with and deal with start to think about their behaviour:

How might you like things to be different?

How does —– interfere with things you would like to do?

What would life be like in ‘x’ years/months if you don’t change the way you do things?

Quite often this type of questioning does not elicit immediate change but does plant the seed for thought and start to get that person thinking about their behaviour.

Interested to find out more?
Want to build a relationship with clients where you can elicit positive change?
Want to take away ideas and techniques of how to apply this in your business/life?

This seminar takes place at Pure Zest just outside York A19 near the A64. Reserve your place using the link below.

Juliet

CLICK HERE TO BOOK