The Concept of Belonging

I have been pondering the word ‘belonging’, what it means and how it feels.

I think as a solo business owner, it’s something I think about quite a lot. Where do I belong? Where do I fit in?

I’m not talking about niche or market sector or segment (although I do think about that sometimes!).

I’m talking about where you belong as a person and linked to that, what is my identity? how do I see myself? how do others see me?

I think we all need to feel we belong – we are part of clubs, societies, groups, classes, political affiliation, churches/religion, bands, associations, families and so on.

It is when we are cut adrift and are not sure where we belong, or start to question our belonging that feelings of isolation, loss or transition start to surface. Perhaps this is where new groups and classes evolve from. ‘I don’t fit in to what is available, so I am going to create my own group/class/tribe’.

If we are lonely or alone we are encouraged to join a club or class, everyone is keen for us to belong somewhere.

Meeting people is important, social interaction and where we belong changes as we move through life. I felt a strong sense of belonging when my children were in primary school and when they moved to secondary school I lost that interaction and sense of belonging.

I attend classes and clubs and I wonder “Are these my type of people?” “Do I belong here?” and I keep going, so I guess I do!

I go to Networking groups and have the same questions, but perhaps everyone is thinking the same.

I pondered what do people who are on the edge of society feel, they are marginalised, perhaps not cared about, don’t feel they belong. How do they cope?

It’s quite a heavy concept for a Monday morning (!), however, I wanted to think and reflect on belonging. I moved house a lot as a child and never really knew where I fitted in. Perhaps this is why I can relate to people who feel lost or outside some how.

As a business owner, you can pick and choose where you feel you belong. As a therapist I set up my groups for parents and business owners to attract people with similar goals to me and created my own sense of belonging and I hope they felt they belonged too.

Have a great week.

Juliet

PS. If you want to belong to one of my support groups or masterminding groups get in touch to find out about the next group and when it begins. If you love the concept of Power Brainstorming and want to test out your ideas in a supportive setting – click the link below.

Motivational Interviewing in Business

You may have heard of it, but what is it?

Quite simply, it’s a method that works on facilitating and engaging motivation within an individual in order to change behaviour.

It’s used a lot in medical and counselling settings as the professional has some time to build a relationship with their client or patient. I can see applications elsewhere. It is a technique which is non-confrontational, and non-judgmental.

How could it be used in business?

My thoughts are that if you regularly work with clients or customers you can implement some of the principles. The aim of your dealings and encounters is to bring about ‘change talk’ and make positive changes to improve their life, it is about encouraging people to make their own changes (who really changes things for the better when told or forced to!). Many people are afraid of change and may well weigh up the pros and cons of doing so (if you are lucky).

Today I am going to give you a taster of some of the questions you could ask to get the people you work with and deal with start to think about their behaviour:

How might you like things to be different?

How does —– interfere with things you would like to do?

What would life be like in ‘x’ years/months if you don’t change the way you do things?

Quite often this type of questioning does not elicit immediate change but does plant the seed for thought and start to get that person thinking about their behaviour.

Interested to find out more?
Want to build a relationship with clients where you can elicit positive change?
Want to take away ideas and techniques of how to apply this in your business/life?

This seminar takes place at Pure Zest just outside York A19 near the A64. Reserve your place using the link below.

Juliet

CLICK HERE TO BOOK

First ‘Proper’ Day Back

I don’t know about you, but I came down to earth with a mighty bump this morning, I was lucky enough to be able to gradually start my first day back at work, culminating in me landing at my desk for 10:20am to a chilly office, where the wifi was on go slow, no doubt a hangover from the holidays when the technology had a go at hibernating also! I opened my chromebook to lots of emails needing attention and emails to send out.

I had to get started as all my brimming over intentions from December needed attention. In my line of work December can be a quiet month when I can do lots of planning and dreaming (and Christmas shopping of course!).

Some of my ideas need thought, amending, binning or full scale action – yes!

That’s why I love running my supportive groups.

If I could recommend just one thing it would be my Setting Your Intentions Workshop, a space for you to acknowledge your successes, dream big about the year ahead (using some of Leonie Dawson’s great ideas) and leave with action points and excitement about your plans, ideas and projects.

So get yourself booked on and get you and your business moving in 2017.

If you would like more information on this or some of my other business support events.
Email me: juliet@choicetherapyyork.com 2 Comments Business, Self care

Making it More Accessible

Hello,

It’s so important to take some time and space for you and your business to learn, acknowledge your progress and get support.

We have a whole range of business support events at Pure Zest Business Hub to do just that. I know from personal experience as a business owner that it is time consuming looking at each workshop, event etc. checking your diary, paying for it and so on.

To help you, I have packaged up the different options, so you only have to check your diary once, and pay once.

Through the first 3 months of the 2017, Choice Business Support is hosting 3 masterminding sessions, a motivator session, one to one Thrive sessions, a seminar and 2 workshops.

There are 3 packages:

In all 3 packages you sign up for:
The Masterminding group, this includes all 3 sessions for being part of that group
(Dates: 11 Jan, 8 Feb, 8 March – 9:30-11am)

Nurture
In addition to the Masterminding:

Motivational Interviewing in Business Seminar (15 Feb 9:30 – 12:30)
One of the two workshops – either Setting your Intentions (18 Jan 10-12) OR Bringing Hygge into Your Business (2 Feb 10-12)
Motivator Session (22 March 10-12)
Thrive session (1 x 30 minutes)

If taken individually all these events would add up to £125, if you buy them as a package and pay by Tuesday 10 January 7pm there will be just £100 to pay. I call that great value for insight, knowledge, support and gaining perspective.

Enrich
In addition to the Masterminding:

Motivational Interviewing in Business Seminar (15 Feb – 9:30 – 12:30)
Motivator Session (22 March 10 – 12)
Thrive session (1 x 30 minutes)

If taken individually all these events would add up to £105, if you buy them as a package and pay by Tuesday 10 January 7pm there will be just £90 to pay. I call that great value for insight, knowledge, support and gaining perspective.

Nourish
In addition to the Masterminding:

One of the two workshops – either Setting your Intentions (18 Jan 10 -12) OR Bringing Hygge into Your Business (2 Feb 10 – 12)
Motivator Session (22 March 10 -12)
Thrive session (1 x 30 minutes)

If taken individually all these events would add up to £90, if you buy them as a package and pay by Tuesday 10 January 7pm there will be just £80 to pay. I call that great value for insight, knowledge, support and gaining perspective.

So grab your diary or smartphone and get them booked in.
For an at a glance, up to date guide to all my business support events go to my Business Support Page.

Click the buttons below to book and find out more about the business packages.

If you would like more information you can reply to this email or ring me on 07910 237983.

All the very best
Juliet

PS If you would like to take advantage of this offer alongside the Business Support Group sessions (instead of Masterminding) please get in touch.

There’s Science Behind Self-Care

I read an interesting article this morning and I thought I would pick out the interesting bits to share with you. The original article was aimed at therapists who work with clients who have experienced significant trauma. It was extolling the virtues of self-care for the therapists. I can see how the explanation could be relevant for so many people, so this is my take. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

We know that self-care is talked about a lot, we are encouraged to look after ourselves, take time out, and have some ‘me time’. It feels indulgent, maybe even a waste of money, however, what follows may change your mind.

In order for me to function at a high level for my family and work, I need a support package, a support framework in order to operate at those high standards, this translates as my ‘me time’.

It is no accident that many of the self care experiences we enjoy most, are things that link us to childhood experiences of nurturing – such as hugs, massage and being read to (and in my case chatting to a trusted person).

So we have to take action, we can’t ‘think’ ourselves into better self care, it’s about taking action. These actions support the healthy function of the lower parts of the brain. A lot of self care does not involve words it is something we ‘experience’ and these experiences are usually body based and help us to feel safe and well and support our brains and body experience regulation. (control, management)

If our brain and body feel regulated, we feel calm and vice versa. Being able to stay calm through the use of regular self-care enables us to think more clearly and deal with all that life throws at us and in my case deal with the people I encounter in my business and life.

A one off experience is not going to cut it, in order to build strong habits of self care and therefore a stronger brain (with strong neural connections) we need repetition (this is the same for all activities). A one off class or treatment is lovely, however, it won’t make a significant difference to our wellbeing, we need lots of practice!

Someone else may recommend a course of action, a type of therapy, a class. You are unique and have unique needs for your self care blend or package. My ‘package’ consists of a monthly massage, a monthly reiki session, twice a week fitness class, regular meet ups with like minded business owners, regular bubble baths, regular craft workshops, yoga sessions and hugging my children. Yours may well be zumba, reading, shopping and meditation!

I feel a seasonal snowflake analogy coming up! Like snowflakes we are unique, vary in size but are all beautiful. So do yourself the best favour ever, you owe your body, brain and ability to feel calm to your self-care.

Self-care enables me to do the job I love and take care of the family I love. It doesn’t bear thinking about where we would be without it.

If you would like to work with me or find out more about Choice Therapy, please visit my website, lots coming up in 2017. My next big event is the Choice Indulgence Evening on 8th March.

Take care
Juliet x