Use Every Tool You Have

I had a small ‘win’ this week, I am wary of blowing my own trumpet, but I see it as a useful situation to learn from and hopefully it helps others.

Some of you that already know me or have followed my blog, Facebook pages etc will know as well as being a counsellor and events organiser that I campaign from a personal stand on attachment and trauma. I firmly believe that if large institutions and organisations had an understanding of attachment and trauma, many, many people’s lives would be a lot easier.

My particular campaign has been a personal one, insisting that schools have understanding and training in these areas and in particular my own children’s schools.

I set off at the beginning of year 7, noticing that things weren’t going as well as they might. It was instinctive for me to start talking to the school, the SENCo, the form tutor, subject teachers and the head of year, try and create understanding, get them to think differently about behaviour and punishment, get them to realise what they were doing was counter-productive, punitive and possibly unkind. Those I spoke to did, on the whole, listen, accommodated my requests for meetings, took the books I offered to lend them. I did ruffle feathers and cause upset, I was asked to stop doing things. The staff were wary of me, but I figured I wasn’t going to change anyone’s thinking by charm alone!

So I used every tool I had at my disposal (I didn’t know that at the time) I used every aspect of my personality, got advice and help, laughed, cried, shouted, blogged, stayed calm, got mad, but most of all I kept on going, every time I was put off or knocked back I took stock, sat back and re-fueled my engine. It felt like a fight, a fight for understanding, a fight for my children and others like them. I wasn’t going to let them down, or let us down.

I got to the end of the year and I still felt misunderstood, not entirely listened to, felt like nothing had changed and had to use the final tool I had available and it felt risky and possibly ill-advised, was this really time to play my ace? (I did take advice from a number of professionals). I threatened to remove my child from the school (and meant it), this could have back-fired, we could have fallen flat on our faces.

The opposite happened, a few chinks of light appeared, some understanding appeared, some care and love appeared, some from unexpected quarters.

I was asked if I wanted to go in to the school on the training day and speak to a room full of teaching assistants about attachment and trauma. I was extremely pleased to do so and extremely thankful to the member of staff who invited me in (I gather it is pretty unusual for this to happen).

However, the fight is not over, but hopefully progress is being made.

My tip to you, if you are going through something similar is to be tenacious, have a goal in mind, get help and advice from wherever you can and most all do what you do with love and understanding.

I am an experienced counsellor. I work with parents on issues related to attachment, loss and anxiety. I also work generally with anxiety using a combined therapeutic approach with all adults. Please contact me for chat.

Have a great week.

Juliet x

Choice Survival Anxiety Package

Chewed Up & Spat Out

The word journey is often used, however, we can’t escape it, life is a journey where we reach crossroads and take different paths. I have often talked about my children, my path to bring them home, adopt them, help them and move them into their teenage years. Now I finally have some time to reflect on what has gone before and consider who I have become as a result of my experiences. There is no doubt I experienced depression, there is no doubt I had secondary trauma and now I consider what I am left with…………

Anxiety

I had the symptoms all along, not wanting to go out, not wanting to meet people, not wanting to visit anywhere new, finding it difficult to talk to people, not going far from home, experiencing a churning stomach, tight chest, nausea when the phone rang, cancelling social invitations and so on. I was experiencing social anxiety, I had been chewed up by my experiences and spat out, left with these anxious feelings.

Finding Support

I found great ways and people to support me, I knew I needed help and found it, through the difficulties I was determined to continue with my life and my business so I had to call on professionals to keep me going. I needed a Survival Package, a list of people I knew would help – counsellors, massage therapists, reiki practitioners, craft workshops, support groups, essential oils, self help books etc etc

How can I help?

I created my own blended approach of therapy; services and activities that supported me. I have always been an advocate of the holistic approach, treating mind and body as one, knowing that ill health in one area affected the other. After my experiences both personally and professionally I offer a blended approach to the therapy I offer.

Counselling – I have 5 years experience of counselling working with adults on loss, change, trauma and anxiety. I have an Advanced Professional Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling from Leeds Trinity University.

Hypnotherapy – I have 5 years experience of hypnotherapy used in conjunction with counselling to aid relaxation, work with phobias and anxiety. Certificate in Hypnotherapy & Counselling skills from Leeds Trinity University.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – There are lots of great techniques available from CBT which I employ from workshops and training courses I have attended.

Relaxation Techniques – I use relaxation as part of the sessions, some people don’t feel comfortable using hypnotherapy so I employ relaxation into the sessions by using relaxation scripts to help you relax at the end of the session and go out and face the world at the end of the sessions.

Essential Oils – I use a diffuser to help aid relaxation in the sessions and can advise on using essential oils at home. I have attended workshops to support this knowledge.

We also build in affirmations, mindfulness and meditation as and when it is needed.

The beauty of this whole approach is that we can tailor it to you, leave out what isn’t needed and add others where they are.

You commit to 6 sessions (we can add to it if needed) and I commit to helping you create your survival package so when the sessions are finished you have something to refer to when needed. Bespoke, tailored to you.

The 6 sessions are £330 which is £55 for each session, available to pay in installments. Great value when you think how much all these elements cost when taken separately.

Get in touch for your FREE 15 minute consultation or forward this blog/email to a friend you think may need some help.

There is help out there

EMAIL: juliet@choicetherapyyork.com

Juliet