Self-Care – why it’s so important

I read an interesting article this morning and I thought I would pick out the interesting bits to share with you. The original article was aimed at therapists who work with clients who have experienced significant trauma. It was extolling the virtues of self-care for the therapists. I can see how the explanation could be relevant for so many people, so this is my take. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

We know that self-care is talked about a lot, we are encouraged to look after ourselves, take time out, and have some ‘me time’. It feels indulgent, maybe even a waste of money, however, what follows may change your mind.

In order for me to function at a high level for my family and work, I need a support package, a support framework in order to operate at those high standards, this translates as my ‘me time’.

It is no accident that many of the self care experiences we enjoy most, are things that link us to childhood experiences of nurturing – such as hugs, massage and being read to (and in my case chatting to a trusted person).

So we have to take action, we can’t ‘think’ ourselves into better self care, it’s about taking action. These actions support the healthy function of the lower parts of the brain. A lot of self care does not involve words it is something we ‘experience’ and these experiences are usually body based and help us to feel safe and well and support our brains and body experience regulation. (control, management)

If our brain and body feel regulated, we feel calm and vice versa. Being able to stay calm through the use of regular self-care enables us to think more clearly and deal with all that life throws at us and in my case deal with the people I encounter in my business and life.

A one off experience is not going to cut it, in order to build strong habits of self care and therefore a stronger brain (with strong neural connections) we need repetition (this is the same for all activities). A one off class or treatment is lovely, however, it won’t make a significant difference to our wellbeing, we need lots of practice!

Someone else may recommend a course of action, a type of therapy, a class. You are unique and have unique needs for your self care blend or package. My ‘package’ consists of a monthly massage, a monthly reiki session, twice a week fitness class, regular meet ups with like minded business owners, regular bubble baths, regular craft workshops, yoga sessions and hugging my children. Yours may well be zumba, reading, shopping and meditation!

I feel a seasonal snowflake analogy coming up! Like snowflakes we are unique, vary in size but are all beautiful. So do yourself the best favour ever, you owe your body, brain and ability to feel calm to your self-care.

Self-care enables me to do the job I love and take care of the family I love. It doesn’t bear thinking about where we would be without it.

Take care
Juliet x

Are you a prospective or current adoptive parent, foster carer or friends & family?
Join us for a fabulous Self-Care Evening just outside York with treatments, workshops and gorgeous products on 16 May 2018

“Don’t Big Up Your Part!”

What one thing would you NOT say to a parent of a child with additional needs or adopted child?

When discussing my contribution to my children’s education that very phrase was uttered by a member of school staff.

To a parent who has tirelessly advocated and campaigned for their child, the endless meetings in school and at the council offices, the parent in the playground (the one you back off from) when the TA, teacher or headteacher approaches, “Can I have a word, Mrs Powell?”.

The parent who volunteered to go into school one afternoon a week to support their child in the face of nothing else available.

The parent who was telephoned that often the she developed a fairly debilitating phobia of the telephone.

The parent who had to read negative comments ad-infinitum in the school planner about behaviour from teachers who had little or no knowledge of attachment in the classroom and when I answered the comments was told to STOP (trying to silence me?!).

The parent who has faced discrimination and misunderstanding at every turn.

The parent who went part-time and then gave up work altogether to support her children.

The parent who re-trained as a counsellor so she could better understand her children and help them, who ran support groups for parents (and school always came up as an area of difficulty) who did workshops and worked one to one with parents and now runs health & wellbeing events, many of which are attended by parents.

The parent who keeps going when she feels like knocking her head against a brick wall with school.

The parent who is watching their child’s mental health deteriorate as a result of lack of understanding in school (and on suicide watch).

The parent who will never give up.


I should be shouting it from the rooftops – I should be in ‘The Press’ (I have about my parent support groups), I should be in the national press and magazines – (I was about school transition), I should be on the local radio (I have on many occasions about parent support groups and my wellness evenings), I should be on national radio (net yet), I should be on national TV (I was once invited).

I should be paid handsomely for advocacy, campaigning and negotiation skills (chance would be a fine thing).

I’m the reason my children get up for school every single day and do their best.

Here I am “bigging” up my part.
My tireless, relentless, tenacious part as a parent and advocate for my child in school.

I have a BIG part, a HUGE part to play as has every parent in how their children do in school.

Is that clear? (I am shouting now!)


Are you a parent or foster carer of a child from care? I am running a self-care evening aimed at you and after this I think I need it too!

Buy Your Tickets Here
Find Out More

Who are our wonderful therapists at Choice Indulgence Evening @middlethorpe?

We are so pleased to be in the gorgeous setting of Middlethorpe Hall. We have hired out the Barlow Room, a specialist room for events just like ours, a lovely quirky room where we are having a fabulous range of therapists and practitioners – one of our best yet.

With just a few hours until our event at The KP Club in Pocklington, it’s a privilege to be having our evening events in such lovely locations.

So who is going to be at Middlethorpe Hall on 14th March?

Jude Robinson – Good Vibrations – Taster Soul Plans
Adela Parzanese-Guerrero – Neal’s Yard – Facials & hand/arm massage
Yvonne Lynn – Your Spirit Matters – Reiki P.E.P Talk
Hazel Smith – Jar Half Full – Reflexology
Lisa Wiles – Hands That Heal – Massage
Elaine White – Natural Entrepreneurs Workspace – Workspace consultations
Lisa & Sammy – Middlethorpe Spa – Facials
Kate Bunney – Magnetix Wellness Bunney – Magnetic Therapy (Kate is doing our show stopper workshop too)
Mike Phan – MPRS – Fitness Consultations
Jayne Brown – Gorgeous Forever Living products
Viv Chamberlin-Kidd – Essentially Shamanic – Aromatouch Hand Massage
Gemma Harris – Harris Sports Massage – Massage

Together we book you in for a 15 minute taster session, you can take part in the show stopping workshop, and receive a complimentary glass of fizz and book yourself in for further sessions for the evening.

Grab one of our 4 remaining tickets:

See you there

Why connect with other wellbeing businesses?

I’ve thought for a while, that you need to be selective about your networking (whatever form that takes). You could end up charging around the county, trying a ton out, forking out hundreds of pounds for the big referral groups and making slow progress.

You need a goal for the networking, if you are hoping for referrals, choose your group wisely.

Networking is not just about referrals, however, it may be that you want to learn about other businesses and how they operate, it maybe that you want to meet new people and have a social element to networking, it may be that you want to meet like-minded people or collaborate. It maybe that you are after training, workshops or business support (or all of the above!)

What ever your reasons, be clear about them. You may join different groups for different reasons. I go to a variety of groups: one group is very supportive, one group has a good social element and one group where I have much clearer business goals.

So why have I started my own wellbeing group?
There are a few reasons actually: I want to meet other people in the industry, I want to work with them through my own business, I think people working as therapists come at business in a different way to many other business owners and I think this group of business owners is unique in many ways. It can be a useful means of support for those of us who work hard to support others therapeutically.

Would you find the group useful?
Do you answer yes to any of the following?
– I work with clients and would find the group supportive
– My ideal client is someone who works in the wellbeing industry.
– I want to collaborate with wellbeing professionals
– I have client referrals I would like to pass on and receive back
– I want a chance to reflect on my business practice
– I would like signposting for business training
– I want support with moving up and on in my business

At the moment the group is free as it gets established, soon we will charge a small fee to facilitate the group – your first meeting is free, so you get a chance to see if it’s for you.

Register here to secure your place in this unique group.


Be Kind to Yourself

Am I a bit late with my New Year posting?!

You may not be surprised to hear that I feel sluggish in January, it takes me a while to come round after 2 weeks away from work. I completely switch off and enjoy the break. As a family we mainly share the tasks of Christmas, although I do heavily feature in the present buying department. We share housework, cooking, present wrapping and tidying up. I decided I wasn’t going to run myself into the ground taking on everything, not my idea of fun.

As I sit at my desk, I am taking my time to get motivated, I have my Himalayan salt lamp glowing away and my essential oils diffuser giving off lots of lovely scents of rosemary, peppermint and lemon – hoping it will help me with focus, concentration and memory! I have a Christmas voucher for a massage – all ready to be booked and enjoyed. I am not beating myself up about getting everything done this week. (The children only just went back to school today after all!) I spent yesterday creating a Vision Board with two colleagues – cutting and sticking lots of images and words that inspire me – I didn’t dwell on the whys and wherefores, I just got on with it and felt better for it.

I think what I am getting at is that I have spent a lot of time in the past making sure I had my survival package in place, a group of people I can call on in a professional capacity to get me through – therapists, business support professionals, coaches, yoga teachers etc – people I can rely upon, I don’t have to think too hard, I know I can contact them to get me through, whatever.

This is what the Choice Indulgence Evenings are all about – bringing together people you can call upon for support whenever you need it, as well as feeling pampered and looked after.

So join us for our next event at The KP Club, Pocklington for therapies, treatments, gorgeous products and supportive, interesting workshops. It could be the best 20 quid you spend this year. All treatments, workshops and a glass of fizz are included.

Line Up:
– Indian Head Massage or Arm/Hand Massage with Emma (Holistic Arts Yorkshire)
– Essential Oil Experience, try oils 3 ways with Tricia (Experience Essentials)
– Alexander technique session with Jane (Jane Clappison, Alexander Technique Therapy)
– Reiki session with Biddie (B Fitness & Wellbeing)
– Semi-permanent make up consultation with Lauren (Lauren Cook Micropigmentation)
– Acupuncture consultation with Lisa (Wolds Acupuncture)
– Kinesiology session with Claire (Bizvits)
– Skincare Consultation with Charlotte (The Beauty Room)
– Back, Neck, Shoulder Massage with Susannah (Susannah Stuart Massage)
– Magnetix Jewellery with Kate Bunney
– Jewellery Workshops with Helen (Silver & Stone Jewellery Design)
– Forever Living Products with Jane Jackson

‘Leaping the Oh Shit Dip’ a taster on how to get unstuck and live” with Siobhan & Tina
“How to create a stronger core and pelvic floor, and why it’s important?” with Biddie
“Using Kinesiology in your everyday life” with Claire


Ticket Link: